Tag Archives: Walmart

Checked Out

14 Feb

On this St. Valentine’s Day I wish to share with you a heart-broiling story of admiration and age-inappropriateness.

See, the other day I was checking out at my favorite retail center. No, you’re wrong. Although I’ve flaunted an obsessive affection for Walmart*, my true discount loving heart is at its happiest within the walls of Target. Do you feel better now?

So, anyway, there I was having my at-home hair dye (GASP) scanned by the late-teenish/early-20ish clerk when he engaged me in the following dialogue:

CLERK (Let’s call him “Boy With Infected Ear Rivets” -BWIER): You’re going to dye your hair???

ME: Yeah…….


ME: Roots, you know. See? (This is where I lean in to actually show him my roots. Quite probably this is also my undoing. I’m as prone to revealing too much about myself as my sister.)

BWEIR: They don’t look too bad. (Flirting initiated)

ME: No, see the white? There’s white. A lot of it.

BWEIR: I see white hair, I see a woman. (So overt!)

ME: I see a woman with four kids. (Emphasis on “four”)

BWEIR: NO! you’re too young. (Obviously heart-broken)

ME: Nope.

BWEIR: But, you don’t look old enough! (Spread it thick, kid. Spread it thick.)

ME: Oh, but I am. Remember the white hair? (Leaning in again! Lock it down, Stacy!) The hair dye? (What about the Super Mario Bros. stickers I was buying?!?!?!)

BWEIR: But your face…..(awkwardly LONG pause)……….it’s young. You have a really young face. (I knew that adult acne would pay off somewhere)

ME: Yep, well, thanks. (awkwardness) Have a good night.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!? Wow. Wowee wow wow. Oh, to be on the receiving end of unrequited love. It’s rough, I tell you. Rough.


It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

15 Dec

Thing I Love: The little things (Christmas style)

Today I have a laundry list of things I love. Laundry, shockingly enough, is not one of them. Here we go.

Walmart*: I’m pretty sure I’ve done this one before. If not, I should have. Judge if you will, but this place does our family such a service. It’s price-matching alone saves us billions of dollars every week. Yes, billions. The mere fact that I don’t have to cart my boys over the river and through the woods to every sale-touting grocery store is a brilliant gift. Today was a special day at our favorite bargain barn, as their staff was Out Of this Discount World helpful. The photo man rushed my one-hour service. My clerk ensured I price-matched items of which I had no prior knowledge. And today I got car side service. Yes, one of their employees donned winter apparel to assist me with my cart-ful of groceries and little boys. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

Christmas Carols: Yeah, I know. Everyone loves these. But they are playing a unique role in my 3-year-old’s world these days. We are regularly regaled with completely original Carol Mash-ups like “Up on The Holly Jolly Housetop” and “Jesus is Coming to Town”. He’s also been fitting little lines from these songs into his daily communication. The other day he beguilingly asked me “Won’t you drive my sleigh tonight?”, and last night as he was saying good night to AJ and I he wished us “a merry Christmas and a happy new year”.  And often he gets confused by dated lyrics. He regularly sings of “the timings of Christmas”. Good timing.

House Guests: Because I rarely allow people exposure to our chaotic abode, hosting TWO get-togethers in the next week has me cleaning and organizing places I had forgotten existed. Today I was excited to find a savings bond gifted to my 3-year-old upon his birth 3-ish years ago. I was also super pumped to know that I had not one, but 4 bottles of Zyrtec. Oh, and opened dark chocolate doesn’t age well. Just an FYI.

Sweet Potatoes and allrecipes.com: These candied tubers are on sale a lot these days. In addition to making loads of Henry food I have found a muffin recipe that pleases each of my male minions (and some that aren’t mine). Try them.

Christmas Carols: What? I did this already? Ah, well. Bear with me. This time our incessant listening has created in our Eldest a love of The Jackson 5, because of this song. We’ll let the young Michael Jackson play a role in his life. Why not?

This blog and its readers (Hey! That’s YOU!): When my sister and I landed on the idea to do this blog I had no idea how much joy it would bring me. I find comfort in the wise, silly, and creative antics of my sister. I love collaborating with her. It’s almost as though she doesn’t live 11-ish hours away. I also love sharing my life with others who so respectfully and kindly take part. Thank you.

So, that’s it. My cup of cocoa runneth over.