Tag Archives: three times a bridesmaid never a bride

Ten Days to Ten Years: Day 8

21 Jun

When we got married I was 26 and Jerry was 38.  The odds were stacked against us.  We had just narrowly passed the Gross Factor Equation Exam.  You remember that one from College Algebra, right?  It’s something something like

2(woman’s age) – 11 ≥ (man’s age)

See, I knew that would come right back to you, after all, math is just like riding a bike down the street toward the railroad crossing at 10 miles an hours with an approaching train traveling 36 miles an hour.

So, as I was saying, the numbers appeared to be stacked against us, especially this glaring statistic:

Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride.

What? That’s not actually a real stat?  Egh, whatever, facts, folklore, they’re all the same to me, and I had the dresses to prove it:  I’d been a Maid of Honor not once, not twice, but the dreaded three times.  And with my sister’s 2001 New Year’s Eve engagement and pending 2002 New Year’s Eve wedding, I was looking at my fourth line of duty.

And I don’t know if there’s a wive’s tale that speaks to the number of roommates that one marries off before she herself is destined to a life of spinsterhood, but I was at a whopping five.

That’s why at my wedding I just had one attendant who was securely attached to a fiance.  No need to run up any one else’s tally, right?

But, all those beautiful women who did me the honor of making me their honored maid flew miles and miles, some even with teensy newborns, to celebrate my very own take-that-you-silly-old-legend wedding extravaganza.

Thank you, Misty, Angie and Stephanie for your years of standing up for me with or without the yards of silk and satin.

And here’s one that I couldn’t have guessed that hot, steamy June day – after my sister’s nuptials I wasn’t yet finished with my role in the wedding party.  Seven years later, my good friend Audrey, who at my own wedding could be seen sitting at the back left corner of the table of high school girls, got married, and there I stood, yet again witnessing the happy occasion of the joining of husband and wife.

So, who’s next?