Tag Archives: mothering

May I have some cheese with my whine?

10 Aug

I’ve been going back and forth about whether to write the following post. Do I? Don’t I? Do I? Don’t I? Well, I guess, I do. Here goes. Usually we attempt to inundate you with portions of our lives that are chortle eliciting. (“Chortle”, by the way, is a word invented by Lewis Carroll that combines the words “chuckle” and “snort”. It’s my favorite way to laugh.) But, I do feel like being pouty. I’ve done it before. I’ll do it again. I am TOTALLY aware that it’s a choice. Oh, WELL! Seriously, what, in this world, could I possibly have to pout about!?!?! Well, the first happened today. My husband was abducted by the school system for another year. (Yes, he’s a teacher. A great one. Seriously. You should all send your children to his school just so that they can sing in one of his choirs and study music theory from him. I promise they’ll learn a ton, be challenged, and love every moment (almost) of their time with him. He’s one of those teachers. The really good kind.) Does my parenthetical explanation mean that I should release him to others every August??? NO NO NO! I WANT HIM HOME! I LOVE HIM HOME! HE IS MY FAVORITE!

The second reason for my pout? Well, on Monday I lose 2 more. My inquisitive, teasing, book-geek, mother-loving 2nd Grader and my silly, sweet, head-standing, mother-loving Kindergartner are leaving my grasp. I know. I know. I could homeschool them. But, those of you who know us well know that it’s not an option presently. SO WHAT DO I DO???? I WANT THEM HOME! I LOVE THEM HOME! THEY ARE MY FAVORITES!

The longer I am a mother and a wife the more addicted to my children and husband I become. What, dear friends, is the solution? Please, offer me words of comfort and advise. But also, please ONLY SAY THINGS I WANT TO HEAR. That’s my mood right now. I’m sure you can empathize.

One more thing, I refuse to sell short the countless women who live their lives with husbands deployed. What you do is mind-bogglingly brave. I cannot even begin to imagine…

Ach! I miss them already!

There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand

4 Aug

Three seemingly ordinary events colided this week with an above the top result.  Here are the otherwise unassuming occurances:

1.  Jerry and I began rewatching Arrested Development.  We often find old shows on DVD at the library and watch an entire series during the summer.  This summer we had nothing (so on an unrelated topic, if you know of any quality TV that we might have missed we’d be happy to entertain your entertainment recommendations.)  Therefore, going back to catch one-liners we might have missed the first time was as good as any way to spend romantic evenings folding laundry.

2.  The boys checked out this book from the library.  Despite the somewhat girlish cover it has some recipes and ideas that appealed even to my hooligans.  Plus, you can’t beat DK for a quality kid’s cookbook.

3.  Aldi had bananas for $0.44.  So many things in our life are dictated by good sales.

I can safely assume that you know what wonderful thing was bound to grow out of the congruence of these events.

First, George Michael, er, I mean, Simeon found the recipe.

Then we began peeling, melting,sticking, and dipping. 

It sure does look like a lot less work on TV.  I have no idea how they are able to concoct the yumminess-on-stick in the tight quarters of the Banana Stand, and without even a drop of chocolate on the khakis.  Amazing.

Hey, brother!

Okay, so ours were in pieces, served on straws, weren’t frozen, and we went a little crazy with the sprinkles and coconut, but they were delicious.  In the end we defaulted more to the cookbook than the Bluth Family Recipe, but the finished products were certainly franchise-worthy.

Well, I assume that’s true, I didn’t exactly get to taste the end result, but I might have cleaned out the excess chocolate from the double boiler with left-over banana chunks.

This one must be "The Gob."

And fear not, our sons were not exposed to the exploits of these unruly Californians.  The boys’ television minds have still only been warped by the likes of black and white Mickey Mouse and PBS propaganda.  But, someday they’ll see the show, and they’ll look back on this memory and say, “Wow, our parent’s were so . . . self-absorbed.”  Just call me Lindsay.

Tomorrow’s snack:  Cornballs

My life would be easier if . . .

28 Jul

. . . Peter knew his head extended above his eyes.

. . . Simeon didn’t drink my coffee.  Or Jerry’s.

. . . Abers looked less cute when he admitted to washing my cell phone, locking Jerry out of the house, stabbing his baby brother in the eye with an action figures’ sword, spraying room freshener in our bedroom, and tying knots in my necklaces.   All in the past 24 hours.

. . . Mo Willems wrote a new book every day.

. . . marbles had never been invented.

. . . the Bible were in alphabetical order.

. . . my sister lived next door.

. . . Thomas had never heard either the Grand Rapids Lip Dub or Weird Al.

. . . all seven of the people in this house wore exactly the same socks.

Welcome to our extremely humble abode.

. . . our boys had never learned to use scissors and tape.

. . . our boys had never shown an interest in Interior Decorating.

. . . if I could blog in the shower.  Don’t worry, that technology seems a ways off.  Although, maybe that’s what Abe was working on with my phone.

So They Think They Can Dance

22 Jul

Something SO exciting is happening in my backyard right now. I can barely suppress my pride. “What is it?” you ask? Well, my boys, my beautiful, wonderful, crazy boys are PRETENDING THEY’RE CONTESTANTS ON “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be still, my reality t.v. loving heart. Be still, my dance loving heart. Be still, my hip-hop, NappyTabs, Lil C loving heart!!!!!!!!!

I thank my dear friend, Anne, for my family’s new obsession with this show. Thank you, Anne. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Get on Hulu NOW. Watch it NOW (and get my sister to, too). You will not be disappointed (neither will she). The dancing is amazing. The choreography is even more amazing. The judges are forthright, yet kind and helpful. It’s downright awesome.

Now look at my kids doing a routine that could rival Christopher Scott choreography at its best:

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Lessons from Angry Birds

19 Jul

This is a confession. I might be guilty of overplaying Angry Birds. Might. I might have been congratulated by the game on over 30 hours played. That might have been over a month ago. I might not have yet stopped playing. I’m afraid that I might even have Angry Birds induced carpel-tunnel. I accept this. I own this. So I’ve decided to use it to teach my oldest a lesson in tenacity. Good idea, right? Lemons, lemonade, that whole thing…

How? First, some background. For those of you who have never stepped into Angry Bird land I will explain the game. One takes a bird (an angry one) and slingshots it at pigs (green ones) in retaliation for some attack that the pigs have launched against the birds’ eggs. I think. To be honest, I’ve never really locked into the story line. Anywho, in order to defeat these verdant porkers one must destroy whatever housing, scaffolding, or protection normally offered to swine such as these. The birds sacrifice themselves in this retaliatory act. How selfless. As all of the pigs in a given level are exterminated one is rewarded a score and stars based upon their completeness of destruction. 1,2, or 3 stars are available. Obviously 3 is the best. And this is where the lesson begins:

 As I stated before, I play a lot. I’ve “beaten” the game. BUT, not with 3 star scores. I’ve just skated through, accepted the bare minimum in effort, let mediocrity reign. That’s what I’m supposed to do, right? Once again I will resist the urge to say anything that might offend, but suffice it to say I will not be buying myself a trophy just to reward completion of a task. (As I was asked to do to celebrate my son’s 2 month t-ball stint! Imagine…)  Owen’s been watching my progress like a hawk (an angry one). See, I’ve gone back to the beginning of the game and am replaying every level in search of 3 stars. I’m doing this for my son. Do you see? See the lesson he’s getting from this? It’s all about stick-to-it-iveness, self improvement, hard work, tenacity, you know.

It’s not at all about how much I love to knock things down and blow things up…..