Tag Archives: AJ

Ten Days to Ten Years: Day 2

15 Jun

One of these things is not like the others.

It’s just good that this picture wasn’t cropped closely.

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Weird

6 Jul

Here are some weird things I’ve heard people say, believe, and claim. At least they’re weird to me. I’d like your take, as well. I will try to be discreet in my identification of these people, as I don’t want to throw anyone under the weird bus.

“Chocolate and Coffee come from the same plant.” – (discretely pointing my finger at my husband)

This is just wild misinformation,  folks. However, this fallacy has been a truth in his brain for as long as I’ve known the poor darling. I’m happy to report that it was finally rectified last week when two elderly zoo docents set my fellow straight.  Whew.

 

“Plaid is my favorite color.” – (discreetly pointing my finger to my sister’s blog gravitar)

Weird, right? I mean, weird. Plaid? Really? This may be untrue as of late. I’m going to make the bold assumption that her new favorite color is Oatmeal/Spitup/Crayola Camouflage. I love that color, too.

 

“Once again Immunity is back up for grabs.” – (discreetly pointing my finger at my friend Jeff Probst)

Redundant much, Jeff??? C’mon. I blame the producers for his grammatical foibles.

 

“Boy, that baby has a lot of hair. You must’ve had some horrible heartburn when you were pregnant.” (manically pointing to the lady at Walmart rubbing my son’s head)

Okay, I know that some of you have heard this one as I was recently informed of its wive’s tale status. I’ve had four red, hairy babies (who, if I didn’t know better, could certainly be the offspring of Esau) and this is the first I’ve heard of it. Based upon this one I have to assume that my sister was faking her supposed debilitating, prescription-needing heartburn. Her babies all sported just the right amount of peach fuzz. And peaches, my friends, do NOT cause heartburn. They’re a gentle fruit.

 

“I eat my peas with honey/ I’ve done it all my life/ It makes the peas taste funny/ But it keeps them on my knife”  – Dad (no use being discreet here)

I know many of you have probably heard this dandy number. Charming, right? I don’t mean to give credit to the wrong guy. I know this isn’t freshly squeezed from my father’s mind grapes. (Anyone get the reference??) It is, however, just a snippet of the many quips, quotes, and puns that this man can spout out at the drop of a pea. (Ask me for his clever original riddles sometime. You’ll be impressed.). Why is this on my weird list? Well, spend a meal with Dad and you’ll get it.

 

I’ll stop here, friends. I’ve realized in racking my brain for things that I think are weird that I may step on a toe or two and that just won’t do. (I was a poet and didn’t know-it. Ha!) What do I want from you? Your weird things. Please. Let me giggle at with you. And remember, I trust your judgement. Now, wile me with your weirdness.