Checked Out

14 Feb

On this St. Valentine’s Day I wish to share with you a heart-broiling story of admiration and age-inappropriateness.

See, the other day I was checking out at my favorite retail center. No, you’re wrong. Although I’ve flaunted an obsessive affection for Walmart*, my true discount loving heart is at its happiest within the walls of Target. Do you feel better now?

So, anyway, there I was having my at-home hair dye (GASP) scanned by the late-teenish/early-20ish clerk when he engaged me in the following dialogue:

CLERK (Let’s call him “Boy With Infected Ear Rivets” -BWIER): You’re going to dye your hair???

ME: Yeah…….

BWEIR: Why?

ME: Roots, you know. See? (This is where I lean in to actually show him my roots. Quite probably this is also my undoing. I’m as prone to revealing too much about myself as my sister.)

BWEIR: They don’t look too bad. (Flirting initiated)

ME: No, see the white? There’s white. A lot of it.

BWEIR: I see white hair, I see a woman. (So overt!)

ME: I see a woman with four kids. (Emphasis on “four”)

BWEIR: NO! you’re too young. (Obviously heart-broken)

ME: Nope.

BWEIR: But, you don’t look old enough! (Spread it thick, kid. Spread it thick.)

ME: Oh, but I am. Remember the white hair? (Leaning in again! Lock it down, Stacy!) The hair dye? (What about the Super Mario Bros. stickers I was buying?!?!?!)

BWEIR: But your face…..(awkwardly LONG pause)……….it’s young. You have a really young face. (I knew that adult acne would pay off somewhere)

ME: Yep, well, thanks. (awkwardness) Have a good night.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!? Wow. Wowee wow wow. Oh, to be on the receiving end of unrequited love. It’s rough, I tell you. Rough.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Checked Out”

  1. Grandma Barbie February 14, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    When ya got it, ya got it!

    • thelifeofapinterestreject February 16, 2012 at 12:35 am #

      1. You really are that cute and young looking, he got it right lady.
      2. Your post made me smile and giggle. You are quite the writer! (and apprently quite the hottie shopper!)

      • Stacy February 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

        Aw, gee. Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: