Stacy’s Birthday List

14 Sep

Guess who’s 83 years old, today?

Yeah, I don’t know either.  But I know it isn’t my sister, despite what facebook says about her age.  How do I know this?  Because I am not 85.  Although I hope when I am an octagenerian I’ll be able to recall as much about her and her entrance into my life as I can today.

Thirty-odd, very odd,  years ago my parents had a baby.  I don’t think I knew Mom was going to have a baby.  Those things were kept secret back then, much like vacations – we never knew about those until the day before we left, either.  Anyway, when Dad told me that I had a little sister there was just one thing I wanted.   One very important thing.

I wanted to name her Taffy.

Isn’t it a gorgeous name?  So sophisticated, and demure.  Perfect.  And yet they would not let me me have my way.  But they did give me the next best thing to a sister Taffy:  a dog named Taffy.

Wow, I loved that dog.  She was the smartest, kindest, gentlest, most loving dog ever.

Oh, sorry, this was supposed to be about Stacy’s birthday, I got sidetracked.  I’ll make up for it now.  Here are 33 things you should know about my sister.

    1. Stacy is beautiful.
    2. We used to say she sparkled.
    3. Everyone loves her.  And they should.
    4. She loves cats.  Loves, loves, loves them.
    5. She is now allergic to cats.  It’s sad.  Sad, sad, sad.
    6. She hates spiders.  Hates, hates, hates them.  But it’s okay, because I made her a “Spider Squasher” once for her birthday (picture a chunk of 2×4 with a crayola spider on one side and the directions “Use this side to squash spiders” written on the other.)
    7. She’s one of the best mothers I know.  I’m constantly taking notes from her and applying them to our children.  Oddly, I think they would like it better coming from her because . . .
    8. She is the absolute best aunt out there.  Oh, my children love her.  Even if they have been known to give her an eye roll or twelve.
    9. She’s been told by multiple people (not all of which are related to her) that she should write a book.  We’re still waiting.
    10. There’s a picture of her in her pajamas on the internet.  You’re welcome.
    11. Stacy used to tell stories.  Big stories.  Whoppers.  One might even consider them lies, except that they were so over the top that no one believed them.  Well, almost no one.
    12. Stacy used to believe her own stories.
    13. She once played the trumpet.
    14. She once had a triangle shaped hair cut.
    15. As a child Stacy wanted to be a marine biologist.
    16. While I was in college she once sent me a gift in a box marked “Perishable – Refrigerate at Once” and added her own note that said, “This is NOT cheese.  Please disregard notice.”  While I can’t remember what the gift was, I still have that box.
    17. She will be thankful that I have chosen not to include pictures of her twelfth birthday.
    18. Apparently, as a child she did nearly everything I told her to do.  I’m just learning the depth and implications of this scarring.
    19. As an adult she is the sister calling the shots.
    20. Like our father, Stacy tans.  I’m so jealous of that girl.
    21. Like our mother, Stacy can talk to anyone.  Still jealous.
    22. She always looked uber-suber-spectacularily cute in pigtails.  Have I mentioned the jealousy?
    23. She even looked cute with a shiner.  I’ll let her have that one.
    24. Stacy’s childhood favorite color was purple.  Everything we owned was color-coded with pink and purple. To this day I still have difficulty buying anything purple because it seems like it already belongs to her.
    25. She once had purple glasses.  Bet you can’t guess what color mine were.
    26. She is very good at picking husbands.  Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration.  She’s really only done it once, but she did a nice job.
    27. Her hair has always been blonde, so don’t start questioning it now.
    28. Stacy has been with me through the thick and thin – and she’s really good at pushing me toward the thin.
    29. Stacy’s middle name, like mine, come from dishwashing detergent.
    30. She once played the role of Snoopy in You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.
    31. She likes good grammar, good beer and good comedy.
    32. If she weren’t so old this list wouldn’t be so long.
    33. She is hands-down, flat-out, without-a-doubt the best sister I’ve ever had.  Well, duh.  But she would be the best sister you’ve ever had too if she was yours.

5 Responses to “Stacy’s Birthday List”

  1. Grandma Barbie September 14, 2011 at 10:38 am #

    What a lovely tribute to a wonderful person. You sisters are so lucky to have each other! Happy Birthday Stacy! We love you!

  2. Marcia September 14, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    You should BOTH write a book!

  3. kaethe September 14, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    Happy Birthday Stacy! Christina, you are a much better sister than I am. But I still can’t really do purple either–it was my little sister’s color. Glasses and all.


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