Archive | 5:42 pm

Humiliation In Every Bag

21 Jul

I brought two boxes of old photos home from Nebraska, from which I have decided to begin a new Blog Series called:

Grab Bag Special

Here’s how we play:  I will reach into one of the boxes and pull out a random photo.  I will scan the photo and upload it to the blog.  I will then apologize for our unfortunate hair, clothing and/or facial expressions and explain the context of the embarrassment.  You will then laugh at our dorkiness and give thanks that you refrained from all mortifying behavior in previous decades.

Let’s begin, shall we?

I suppose the hair is a dead give-away to the time period here.  Do you remember how much of the late 80’s and early 90’s were wasted attempting to acquire that look?  As you can see, Stacy and I do.  That’s probably why we were so tired, we had to wake up an hour earlier than everyone else to sculpt those Bang Bulbs.

But look at little Rachel.  Isnt’ she adorable?

This was the summer of 1990 and we were on vacation in New Mexico and West Texas.  At our stop in Carlsbad Caverns I decided to become a professional spelunker.  A decision based solely on my fear of tornadoes.  It was either that or move to Alaska.

We also took a day trip to a little town in Mexico where I bought what I considered to be the COOLEST black leather jacket in the whole world.  Complete with fringe.  I hope to never find a picture of that one on a Grab Bag Special day.

Do you know what confuses me most about this picture?  Mom.  Or maybe that’s Rachel’s mom Georgia.  Either way I want to know:  Is she asleep, too? Or just leaning over so Dad in the front seat can take the picture?  And, if that’s Mom, where’s Georgia?  And if it’s Georgia, where’s Mom?

You see, I know that Dad and Rachel’s dad were in the front seat because that was the Unspoken Rule of the Car.  Men in front.  Women in back.  It was also the Unspoken Rule of the Holiday Table.  Men at the Living Room Table.  Women at the Kitchen Table.  I remember once when our cousin tried to buck the system.  Scandalous.  But I think overall she was the one who suffered.  The rest of us womenfolk didn’t have to endure the conversation about corn yields and swine infestations.

I suppose that wraps up our First Edition of Grab Bag Special.  Thank you joining me on this trip down a steamy, dreamy, mesquite-lined memory lane.

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