Archive | 9:59 pm

Weird, two.

11 Jul

Stacy had a most excellent post about weird things people say and believe.   Some brilliant facebook friends suggested some of their favorites:

“Blackberry Vanilla is my favorite flavor” – when speaking of candles and other things of smelly nature.  Last time I got lotion in my mouth I was not pleased.
“It’s always the last place you look.” – Well, I’d hope so, it would be pretty silly to keep looking after you found it.
“It is what it is.” – because if it weren’t it’d not be what it isn’t, or something like that . . .

But beyond, “Oh!  You have Twins!  A boy and a girl.  Are they identical?”* I was kind of coming up short with ideas of my own.

Then Mom reported in the comments of the blog that she and Dad had seen a billboard in Minnesota for “Daniel’s Body Shop with 24 Hour Toe Service”.  That got me thinking about some of the weird things that I’ve seen around.  Like my sister, I’ll try to protect the weird parties’ identities so as not to step on any tows.

“Cheero’s Sports and Sushi Grill” – (pointing my finger at the new restaurant down the street every time I drive by)
‘Sushi’ and ‘Grill’ are two words that do not belong side by side.  And this does not even begin to touch the weirdness of the name “Cheero’s.”  I’m pretty sure the place used to be “Hero’s” and before that, “Champ’s.”  My only question is where did they get the extra ‘e’, or did I miss a dining establishment in there somewhere?  It’s a lot like the Clarion Hotel where we used to stay in Omaha that oddly became the “Clarino”  and then “Carol Inn” under new managements.

“A Better Place to Live” – (I’ll try to be discreet here as I point my finger to a town slightly “East” of Grand Rapids)
This is really what it says on the sign outside their city building.  Don’t get me wrong, I love this well manicured burg.  Their high taxes provide us lowly GR residents with some fabulous services, and I suppose it’s good that they’re owning up to their “we’re better than everyone else” reputation, but it’s still too vague.  Better than what?  The garbage dump.  Oh wait, that brings me to the next weird entry:

Exclusive Garbage and Recycling” – (pointing my finger to the picture from the 4th of July Parade in previously sited city.)
I think it’s weird that these people even have trash.  But take note Excessively Gorgeous  Residents, if you have Eggs, Granola or Radicchio that aren’t locally grown and organic, don’t put them out for this blue truck.  I’d probably also steer clear of Equate brand, other Generics and Ramen noodles.  Maybe you should stick to throwing away Escargot, Guccis and Rolexes.

Also, isn’t it weird that there is a garbage truck in a parade?  I did not allow my children to pick up the candy.

“Jesus Sets the Captives Free” – (a billboard on I-35 somewhere in Oklahoma. )
Okay, it’s not the weirdest thing to see as you trek up the highway, except the sign continues with these words: “Joe Bob’s Bail Bonds.”  This is the most extreme case of WWJD I’ve ever seen.

As before, please feel free to comment with your own weirdness, or better yet, the weirdness of others.  Knowing we’re surrounded by weirdness makes us feel more normal.

Or weird.

Or normal.

*We really have had this question.  Three times.  The most memorable was a couple who had been playing with the babies for at least 20 minutes when the husband asked.  Before I had a chance to swallow my guffaw, avoid eye contact with my sister, and come up with a non-condescending answer his wife replied, “No, honey, they don’t look anything alike.”