Archive | 4:55 pm

It’s Not All Boston Rob and Sleepless Nights

20 Apr

My sister is wrong.  Funny, but wrong.  In addition to our  Infinitesimal (or Infantisimal) Exhaustion and Reality TV we cover other subjects.

Here’s a list:

1. How tired our husbands say they are.  And whether or not we believe them.

2. Our vocabularies.  The use of words like ‘repartee’ should always be lauded.  The same goes for ‘lauded.’

3.  A subject on which we hold a self-imposed public forum ban.  It’s not what you think.  Or maybe it is, I don’t know how you think.  Unless you’re one of our husbands, in which case it’s not that.

4. Yelling.  We compare stats.  How much? how loud? at which child(ren)? and, most importantly, for what completely irrational reason?

5.  Literature.  I know, she said that she hopes one day to return to conversations about this, but she is forgetting some really important recent exchanges.  They went something like this:
Her:  I really liked that book.”
Me:  Which one? Thomas, your shoes are on the wrong feet.
Her:  You know, that one about that one girl.
Me:  Oh yeah, I liked her.
Her: Yeah, me too, Charlie, did you go to the bathroom*? But I really liked the other girl even more
Me:  Yeah, that was . . Somebody get me a burp rag – quick! . . . a good book.
Her:  Yeah.

6. How much we miss sleep.  Oh, wait, she covered that.

7.  The weather.  If you press us we will deny that we talk about it.  But we are our mother’s daughters.

8.  Food.  Primarily how much of it we’ve eaten.  We’re like on-duty Navy Seals – we replace sleep with calories.  Don’t knock it, it’s effective.

9.  Our general worthlessness as mothers and wives.  Which may include, but is not necessarily limited to:
—sending our children to an Easter party with two dozen raw eggs
—forgetting to bring our child to school
—forgetting to pick up our child from school
— not showering for four straight days
— ‘accidentally’ nudging our husbands at 4:00 a.m. when a baby is crying
—letting Kung Fu Panda babysit so we can blog.

10. How much we love that people are reading our blog.  Thank you!

I should wrap this up now, Thomas is scared of Kung Fu Panda and needs me to start the Imaginext DVD for him.  He plans to watch it in Portuguese today.

*Please forgive the possible breaking of any self-imposed public forum bans.

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